Jatuh

"Saat pertemuan pertama itu memang aku amat nantikan. Aku ingin melihat wajahnya di alam nyata, mengharap dia memang wujud, walaupun sudah beberapa kali mendengar suaranya. Namun pertemuan dan bual bicara yang sebentar cuma itu menjadi satu peristiwa yang tak dapat aku lupakan. Aku menyesali pertemuan itu kerana saat aku pandang wajahnya aku tergolek-golek jatuh cinta. 

Suatu perasaan yang ingin aku nyahkan tapi tidak berdaya." 

Love is a beautiful feeling. It should be mutual, shared and appreciated. Then it will be meaningful. Sometimes I do wonder why the feelings of love for someone who is in a different time zone, in a different world and who I hardly met is present. It is there all the time. Yeah, I strongly believe that it should be made known, should be displayed and shown and the name be remembered days and nights. Subhanallah. It is awesome. I love you sincerely, unconditionally. Full stop.

5 Surprising Signs of an Unhealthy Heart



By Melanie Haiken, Caring.com
Fri, Jun 24, 2011(from Yahoo Health)
We've all read the signs of a heart attack listed on posters in the hospital waiting room. But what if there were other, earlier signs that could alert you ahead of time that your heart was in trouble?
It turns out there are. Researchers have done a lot of work in recent years looking at the signs and symptoms patients experienced in the months or even years leading up to a heart attack. "The heart, together with the arteries that feed it, is one big muscle, and when it starts to fail the symptoms can show up in many parts of the body," says cardiologist Jonathan Goldstein of St. Michael's Medical Center in Newark, New Jersey. Here are five surprising clues that your heart needs checking out. Any of these signs -- and particularly two or more together -- is reason to call your doctor for a workup, says Goldstein.
1. Neck pain
Feel like you pulled a muscle in the side of your neck? Think again, especially if it doesn't go away. Post-heart attack, some patients remember noticing that their neck hurt and felt tight, a symptom they attributed at the time to muscle strain. People commonly miss this symptom because they expect the more dramatic acute pain and numbness in the chest, shoulder, and arm. Women in particular are less likely to experience heart pain that way, and more likely to feel twinges of pain and a sensation of tightness running along the shoulder and down the neck, says Margie Latrella, an advanced practice nurse in the Women's Cardiology Center in New Jersey and coauthor of Take Charge: A Woman's Guide to a Healthier Heart (Dog Ear, 2009). The pain might also extend down the left side of the body, into the left shoulder and arm.

Why it happens:

Nerves from damaged heart tissue send pain signals up and down the spinal cord to junctures with nerves that extend out into the neck and shoulder.

What distinguishes it:

The pain feels like it's radiating out in a line, rather than located in one very specific spot. And it doesn't go away with ice, heat, or muscle massage.
2. Sexual problems
Having trouble achieving or keeping erections is common in men with coronary artery disease, but they may not make the connection. One survey of European men being treated for cardiovascular disease found that two out of three had suffered from erectile dysfunction for months or years before they were diagnosed with heart trouble. Recent studies on the connection between ED and cardiovascular disease have been so convincing that doctors now consider it the standard of care to do a full cardiovascular workup when a man comes in complaining of ED, according to cardiologist Goldstein says. "In recent years there's been pretty clear evidence that there's a substantially increased risk of heart attack and death in patients with erectile dysfunction," Goldstein says.

Why it happens:

Just as arteries around the heart can narrow and harden, so can those that supply the penis. And because those arteries are smaller, they tend to show damage much sooner -- as much as three to four years before the disease would otherwise be detected.

What distinguishes it:

In this case, the cause isn't going to be immediately distinguishable. If you or your partner has problems getting or maintaining an erection, that's reason enough to visit your doctor to investigate cardiovascular disease as an underlying cause. "Today, any patient who comes in with ED is considered a cardiovascular patient until proven otherwise," says Goldstein.
3. Dizziness, faintness, or shortness of breath
More than 40 percent of women in one study published in Circulation: Journal of the American Heart Association, reported having experienced shortness of breath in the days before a heart attack. You might feel like you can't breathe, or you might feel dizzy or faint, as you would at high altitude. If you can't catch your breath while walking upstairs, vacuuming, weeding the garden, or doing other activities that previously caused you no trouble, this is a reason to be on the alert.

Why it happens:

Not enough blood is getting through the arteries to carry sufficient oxygen to the heart. The heart muscle pain of angina may also make it hurt to draw a deep breath. Coronary artery disease (CAD), in which plaque builds up and blocks the arteries that feed the heart, prevents the heart from getting enough oxygen. The sudden sensation of not being able to take a deep breath is often the first sign of angina, a type of heart muscle pain.

What distinguishes it:

If shortness of breath is caused by lung disease, it usually comes on gradually as lung tissue is damaged by smoking or environmental factors. If heart or cardiovascular disease is the cause, the shortness of breath may come on much more suddenly with exertion and will go away when you rest.


4. Indigestion, nausea, or heartburn
Although most of us expect pain from any condition related to the heart to occur in the chest, it may actually occur in the abdomen instead. Some people, particularly women, experience the pain as heartburn or a sensation of over-fullness and choking. A bout of severe indigestion and nausea can be an early sign of heart attack, or myocardial infarction, particularly in women. In one study, women were more than twice as likely as men to experience vomiting, nausea, and indigestion for several months leading up to a heart attack.

Why it happens:

Blockages of fatty deposits in an artery can reduce or cut off the blood supply to the heart, causing what feels like tightness, squeezing, or pain -- most typically in the chest but sometimes in the abdomen instead. Depending on which part of your heart is affected, it sends pain signals lower into the body. Nausea and light-headedness can also be signs that a heart attack is in progress, so call your doctor right away if the feeling persists.

What distinguishes it:

Like all types of angina, the abdominal pain associated with a heart problem is likely to worsen with exertion and get better with rest. Also, you're likely to experience repeated episodes, rather than one prolonged episode as you would with normal indigestion or food poisoning.
5. Jaw and ear pain
Ongoing jaw pain is one of those mysterious and nagging symptoms that can have several causes but can sometimes be a clue to coronary artery disease (CAD) and impending heart attack. The pain may travel along the jaw all the way to the ear, and it can be hard to determine which it's coming from, says cardiovascular nurse Margie Latrella. This is a symptom doctors have only recently begun to focus on, because many patients surveyed post-heart attack report that this is one of the only symptoms they noticed in the days and weeks leading up to the attack.

Why it happens:

Damaged heart tissue sends pain signals up and down the spinal cord to junctures with nerves that radiate from the cervical vertebrae out along the jaw and up to the ear.

What distinguishes it:

Unlike the jaw pain caused by temporomandibular joint disorder (TMJ), tooth pain, or ear infection, the pain doesn't feel like it's in one isolated spot but rather like it's radiating outward in a line. The pain may extend down to the shoulder and arm -- particularly on the left side, and treatments such as massage, ice, and heat don't affect it.



symptoms, siti payung, heart attack

Dah lebih dua tahun rupanya blog ini tidak di update. Mujur tidak berhantu. Kalau tidak entahlah..... 

Aku masih ingat sewaktu aku sibuk bekerja dulu, aku tak ada masa untuk berblog. Dalam hatiku ada terselit semangat yang berkobar-kobar untuk menulis di dalam sebuah blog milikku sendiri. Macam2 angan2ku ketika itu. Nak tulis cerita, nak tulis pengalaman, nak kongsi maklumat.

"Tulislah, bukan orang tahu siapa kita kalau tak mahu orang kenal." saran anakku yang memang amat rajin menulis dan membaca. Katanya ianya bermula dari Friendster....lepas tu, blogspot dan sekarang di dalam wordpress. Selalu juga aku mengikuti hasil tulisannya.

Aku pernah pergi ke sekolah lamanya dan memberikan dua buah buku yang di dalamnya ada hasil tulisannya. Sebuah sajak pendek yang menyentuh perasaanku. 

Pengetua sekolah itu, seorang wanita berkata, "Terima kasih. Kita memang ingin tahu apa yang dah berlaku kepada bekas pelajar sekolah ini. Saya harap dia boleh datang dan memberi nasihat kepada adik2 yang belajar di sini."

"Oh. Saya boleh tanya anak saya, tak tahulah sama ada dia setuju bercakap di depan orang ramai."

"Apa salahnya."

"Ada masalah sikit."

"Apa masalahnya?" 

"Dia tak tinggal di sini. Dia balik sekali sekala, itupun sekejap, dua tiga minggu dalam dua tiga tahun."

"Di mana dia tinggal?"

"Ireland."

"Ambil medic ke?"

Entah kenapa selalu benar orang menganggap Ireland hanya ada bidang perubatan. 

"Tak. Professional Accountant."

"Oh...."

Itu cerita lama. Sudah berlaku beberapa tahun lalu. Ya..... lamanya aku tidak menulis di sini. Aku lebih banyak membaca, kerana nampak gayanya membaca jauh lebih mudah. Menulis, belum tentu ada orang yang akan baca, tambahan kalau gaya tulisan itu membosankan....macam dalam blog ini.

Inilah permulaan semula kepada yang sudah berhenti selama lebih dua tahun. InsyaAllah aku akan menulis lagi, tak kisahlah kalau ada orang baca atau tidak.

Aku sisipkan di sini sebuah foto dari Ireland...... 

Inilah senario yang biasa dilihat, orang ini sedang mencari rezeki dengan membuat 'stunt' di khalayak ramai. Mulanya aku berminat untuk melihat lakonannya. Tak kisahlah kalau bayar sikit. Tapi bila dia kata secara indirect, dia tak mahu terima 1 euro, dua euro....aku give up. Kalau dia tamak aku jadi kedekut...

Entah.......

Tersedu bila terkenang. Ia terpaku di situ dan memori itu tidak akan terpadam sampai bila-bila. Kadang-kadang aku rasa aku ingin melupakan, namun kadang-kadang aku rasa ianya lebih baik jika tidak aku lupakan kerana ia jadi pengajaran walaupun amat pahit untuk dikenang.  Seperti aku menagih simpati dan enjoy kepada rasa 'derita' itu. Tidak, ianya berlaku dan menjadi sejarah. Titik hitam yang besar dan sukar dipadam. Alangkah moleknya jika ianya berwarna warni.....Entah. 


Satu perkara yang aku sedar ialah hilangnya rasa kepercayaan itu. Aku harap aku akan dapat melihat semula wajah kejujuran sebenar yang terpancar. Beberapa ketika dulu aku se akan mahu percaya, namun setiap kali ada saja perkara yang merubahnya. Sehingga aku menjadi tidak percaya. Langsung tidak percaya. Entah skala apa yang aku gunakan 0 - 5, 0 -10, 0 - 100. Entah.


Seorang teman yang boleh aku katakan rapat pernah berkata selepas melalui gelombang besar di dalam rumahtangganya. "No.....I'll never trust him again. and yes, I still love him." Sehingga kini mereka masih suami isteri. Aku harap dia sudah meletakkan kepercayaannya semula di tempatnya. Entah.


Ya...dia pernah aku tanya bluntly. Point blank. Ini kerana aku rasa aku perlu tahu dari mulutnya sendiri bukan dari orang lain tentang dirinya. Dia mengaku ya dan tidak. Lalu dia bercerita dengan sukarela sesuatu yang aku rasa belum pernah aku dengar dari mana2 sumber. Cerita dukanya, tindakannya dan akhirnya bila dia bersujud di hadapan rumah Allah, dia menukar nawaitunya dan menyesali segala2 yang pernah dilakukannya....alangkah syahdunya dan aku dapat merasakan apa yang dia rasa selama ini. Entah.....

 Gambar hiasan

Aku harap akan dapat merasai semula kepercayaan yang sudah nipis itu kerana masa semakin suntuk. Mungkin. Entah. 

Kita memang tidak sempurna dan seharusnya menerima segala kelemahan, kesilapan dan kekurangan itu dengan mambaikinya semampu diri kita dengan harapan tinggi agar begitu juga sebaliknya.....

versus versus

When political view clashes, does it tear the relationship as well? I would not sacrifice mine. Nobody is perfect. Arguments can lead nowhere. It would only jeopardize friendship or whatever it is. Sometimes it is best to leave them aside.

Well.....somebody would say that I don't stand by my principles....Let them be, 'cos it will lead to another argument. I hated arguments especially with the love ones. It will only made myself feel worst inside. The I would just silently pray that the truth will be unfold.

Politic is not everything in this world. There are other things equally important if not more important. I would not trade anything if it involves my faith, my belief and my religion.



In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful. All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds. The Beneficent, the Merciful. Master of the Day of Judgment. Thee do we serve and Thee do we beseech for help. Keep us on the right path. The path of those upon whom Thou hast bestowed favors. Not (the path) of those upon whom Thy wrath is brought down, nor of those who go astray.

http://www.alquran-english.com/

There's a place in my mind.....

There is a place in my mind that I had always want to go. And maybe stay for a few weeks. Dublin. I planned to go last July but I couldn't make it. I hope I can go next year.

In the spring of 2010.

I just hope and pray.......