Dah lebih dua tahun rupanya blog ini tidak di update. Mujur tidak berhantu. Kalau tidak entahlah..... 

Aku masih ingat sewaktu aku sibuk bekerja dulu, aku tak ada masa untuk berblog. Dalam hatiku ada terselit semangat yang berkobar-kobar untuk menulis di dalam sebuah blog milikku sendiri. Macam2 angan2ku ketika itu. Nak tulis cerita, nak tulis pengalaman, nak kongsi maklumat.

"Tulislah, bukan orang tahu siapa kita kalau tak mahu orang kenal." saran anakku yang memang amat rajin menulis dan membaca. Katanya ianya bermula dari Friendster....lepas tu, blogspot dan sekarang di dalam wordpress. Selalu juga aku mengikuti hasil tulisannya.

Aku pernah pergi ke sekolah lamanya dan memberikan dua buah buku yang di dalamnya ada hasil tulisannya. Sebuah sajak pendek yang menyentuh perasaanku. 

Pengetua sekolah itu, seorang wanita berkata, "Terima kasih. Kita memang ingin tahu apa yang dah berlaku kepada bekas pelajar sekolah ini. Saya harap dia boleh datang dan memberi nasihat kepada adik2 yang belajar di sini."

"Oh. Saya boleh tanya anak saya, tak tahulah sama ada dia setuju bercakap di depan orang ramai."

"Apa salahnya."

"Ada masalah sikit."

"Apa masalahnya?" 

"Dia tak tinggal di sini. Dia balik sekali sekala, itupun sekejap, dua tiga minggu dalam dua tiga tahun."

"Di mana dia tinggal?"

"Ireland."

"Ambil medic ke?"

Entah kenapa selalu benar orang menganggap Ireland hanya ada bidang perubatan. 

"Tak. Professional Accountant."

"Oh...."

Itu cerita lama. Sudah berlaku beberapa tahun lalu. Ya..... lamanya aku tidak menulis di sini. Aku lebih banyak membaca, kerana nampak gayanya membaca jauh lebih mudah. Menulis, belum tentu ada orang yang akan baca, tambahan kalau gaya tulisan itu membosankan....macam dalam blog ini.

Inilah permulaan semula kepada yang sudah berhenti selama lebih dua tahun. InsyaAllah aku akan menulis lagi, tak kisahlah kalau ada orang baca atau tidak.

Aku sisipkan di sini sebuah foto dari Ireland...... 

Inilah senario yang biasa dilihat, orang ini sedang mencari rezeki dengan membuat 'stunt' di khalayak ramai. Mulanya aku berminat untuk melihat lakonannya. Tak kisahlah kalau bayar sikit. Tapi bila dia kata secara indirect, dia tak mahu terima 1 euro, dua euro....aku give up. Kalau dia tamak aku jadi kedekut...

Entah.......

Tersedu bila terkenang. Ia terpaku di situ dan memori itu tidak akan terpadam sampai bila-bila. Kadang-kadang aku rasa aku ingin melupakan, namun kadang-kadang aku rasa ianya lebih baik jika tidak aku lupakan kerana ia jadi pengajaran walaupun amat pahit untuk dikenang.  Seperti aku menagih simpati dan enjoy kepada rasa 'derita' itu. Tidak, ianya berlaku dan menjadi sejarah. Titik hitam yang besar dan sukar dipadam. Alangkah moleknya jika ianya berwarna warni.....Entah. 


Satu perkara yang aku sedar ialah hilangnya rasa kepercayaan itu. Aku harap aku akan dapat melihat semula wajah kejujuran sebenar yang terpancar. Beberapa ketika dulu aku se akan mahu percaya, namun setiap kali ada saja perkara yang merubahnya. Sehingga aku menjadi tidak percaya. Langsung tidak percaya. Entah skala apa yang aku gunakan 0 - 5, 0 -10, 0 - 100. Entah.


Seorang teman yang boleh aku katakan rapat pernah berkata selepas melalui gelombang besar di dalam rumahtangganya. "No.....I'll never trust him again. and yes, I still love him." Sehingga kini mereka masih suami isteri. Aku harap dia sudah meletakkan kepercayaannya semula di tempatnya. Entah.


Ya...dia pernah aku tanya bluntly. Point blank. Ini kerana aku rasa aku perlu tahu dari mulutnya sendiri bukan dari orang lain tentang dirinya. Dia mengaku ya dan tidak. Lalu dia bercerita dengan sukarela sesuatu yang aku rasa belum pernah aku dengar dari mana2 sumber. Cerita dukanya, tindakannya dan akhirnya bila dia bersujud di hadapan rumah Allah, dia menukar nawaitunya dan menyesali segala2 yang pernah dilakukannya....alangkah syahdunya dan aku dapat merasakan apa yang dia rasa selama ini. Entah.....

 Gambar hiasan

Aku harap akan dapat merasai semula kepercayaan yang sudah nipis itu kerana masa semakin suntuk. Mungkin. Entah. 

Kita memang tidak sempurna dan seharusnya menerima segala kelemahan, kesilapan dan kekurangan itu dengan mambaikinya semampu diri kita dengan harapan tinggi agar begitu juga sebaliknya.....

versus versus

When political view clashes, does it tear the relationship as well? I would not sacrifice mine. Nobody is perfect. Arguments can lead nowhere. It would only jeopardize friendship or whatever it is. Sometimes it is best to leave them aside.

Well.....somebody would say that I don't stand by my principles....Let them be, 'cos it will lead to another argument. I hated arguments especially with the love ones. It will only made myself feel worst inside. The I would just silently pray that the truth will be unfold.

Politic is not everything in this world. There are other things equally important if not more important. I would not trade anything if it involves my faith, my belief and my religion.



In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful. All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds. The Beneficent, the Merciful. Master of the Day of Judgment. Thee do we serve and Thee do we beseech for help. Keep us on the right path. The path of those upon whom Thou hast bestowed favors. Not (the path) of those upon whom Thy wrath is brought down, nor of those who go astray.

http://www.alquran-english.com/

There's a place in my mind.....

There is a place in my mind that I had always want to go. And maybe stay for a few weeks. Dublin. I planned to go last July but I couldn't make it. I hope I can go next year.

In the spring of 2010.

I just hope and pray.......

Cymbopogon nardus

I didn't feel good lately. Not exactly 'demam' but kind of feeling lethargic. Then I remembered my Cymbopogon nardus which I cut from the bunch that my hubby wanted to replant. It was almost dried up, maybe the fragrant almost gone. I boiled them in my large pot. The aroma filled my house.

"What are you doing?" my mum asked.

"Ooo...nothing..."

"Smells like air mandi orang dalam pantang..."

Hehehe...I laughed.

Then I took my bath. Ooo I felt so good after the bath. It helped boost my down and out feeling.
Maybe I should do that more often rather than spending my money on spa.....

Sigh....

Never too late

I received a postcard. A cute one from Tunisia written Tunisie....(maybe that's how Tunisians pronounced it), with small great photos in it. Most probably displaying some of the interesting things about Tunisia.

I was not surprised when I received the postcard. As usual it was adressed to MAK & FAMILY. Sounds Chinese...? Well...let it be. I am the "Mak"....She usually sends one postcard whenever she went somewhere. I will keep them in an album as a memoir.

What instantly strikes my mind is why did the postcard came so late. A month late judging by the postal chop. Was it the postal blunder, backlog or.....or is email and internet has taken over the job of relaying news. While I do not deny the efficiency of the internet, I will always feel very nice and happy whenever I received a mail, a postcard with good news of course...!

I personally feel that postcards is are things of the past since they are hard to find and they are not up to date. I remembered the difficulty of finding one when I went to Thailand. When they are one of the usual things in bookstalls, they are scarce now.

I still like to see them even if they are a little expensive now. And I will buy them whenever I came across them in some of my travel.

By the way thank you for the Tunisie postcard. A nice one.

Just wish that it had never happened........

At a gathering in one of the neighbor's house there were a lot of hush hush. Since I normally avoid gossips, this one was really new to me.

"What? You really don't know?" asked one.

I shrugged. Yes....I don't know. Is this the latest gossip?

"You don't read the papers?"

Again. Oh I hate to read the papers nowadays. Full of rubbish. They're all
only good for the paper lama man....

"No wonder...."

Well......... I do not mind not knowing the latest gossip. I'd prefer not to know if it isn't something nice to hear.

"Hmm.....it happened about 2 weeks ago...bla...bla...bla..."

Oh...oh... how I was glad not to know.....but since now I knew, I feel saddened by the incident.

I don't know whether to feel sorry or angry....